how can it be that we go from
things being absolutely fabulous...
to things being absolutely horrible...
in a spilt second????
why is this disease so dang confusing?
if it was easy to deal with i guess it
wouldn't be the terminal, heart-wrenching
disease that it is.
i wish i could figure it out, but i know
that i can't nor will i ever be able to.
all we can do is strive to make him
be happy and content.  at this point,
that is all we want for him....
happiness
contentment
is that too much to ask???
i am attempting to enjoy what
i have left of him but it gets harder
and harder everyday.  i will not change.
i will continue to do what i do.
i need to find some faith though.
i think i have lost it.
maybe faith will help me pull through
this and not be so angry??
maybe.......

i miss my daddy