xmas2010

Christmas came and went without much commotion.  It was very hard and extremely sad on me but
I made it through.  We didnt bring a camera so this is the only picture we got.. from Leah's phone. 
Pops was in a pretty good mood.  Very happy and content.  He had a nice time eating some snacks and also opening some presents.  He had no clue it was Christmas except for the fact that we kept telling him. 
It was very sad to not have him at the family festivities.  It broke my heart.  No one else seemed to notice or care.

i miss my daddy

To: Katie From: Pops

On Sunday I was at my pt job at Tiffany & Co.
and an older gentleman came in to purchase a
giftcard.  I proceeded to ring it up for him and
gave him the envelope to fill in the, "to/from".
When I was done I went to put the card back
in the envelope and box it up.  I took the card
from him and my jaw dropped:
To:  Katie
From:  Pops
I said, "is Katie your daughter?
He said, "yes"
I told him that was my name and that I call
my dad "pops"!!
I didn't give him my sob story...
It was super cool though and he thought
it a strange cooincidence as well.
It made my day!!
I was a little choked up actually, seeing
those words....

i miss my daddy

Jeez.
Everytime I look at my last subject....
they're the same.
Anger.
And today is no different.
People have no clue.
I had a melt down today after
receiving an email about our family
Christmas "party"...
Really???
A party.
I think not.
It's Christmas for the love...
A reason to celebrate but I
surely wouldn't call it a party by any means.
Especially since we will be missing
the patriarch of our family this year.
No one has thought to mention that.
No one has thought to ask if we should go see him.
No one has thought to buy and bring him gifts.
No one has thought of anyone but themselves.
I called my poor mother and sobbed and sobbed
She understands also.
She feels bad for me.
She doesnt know what to do.
These are her children.
I feel bad for her.
She is 79 years old. 
She sure doesnt need this.
I just really needed a shoulder to cry on.
Feel like I still do...
Will try hard to hold it together.
But.........no guarantees.
It will be hard. 

i miss my daddy