the days sort of seem
to blend together.
each one really much
like the one before.
i attempt to give him
some sort of joy.
i attempt to give him
a sence of importance.
part of me really
sees him sometime.
i see that he is in there.
he is sad.
i can see it.
he has no way to
express himself.
it is probably the
singlemost sad
thing i've gone through
in my life.
i find myself feeling
jealous when i see
an old man who is
tip top shape.
it brings the whole
"it's not fair"
thing back in my mind.
i feel glad that i am
able to deal with it
as best i can.
it is not fun, it is depressing
but you
have to deal.
for me,
i have no choice.
i would be doing the
same for my mother.
it is what you do.
honor
thy
father
and
mother.

i miss my daddy