Anger Management

argh.
i need anger management bad.
i'm trying so hard to not worry about
other people and what they are doing
but it is very hard for me.
to know that there are family members
right here in town that don't go see my dad
is so maddening.  to know that people
come into town and don't go see him
is absolutely frustrating.  I'm so ticked
it makes my stomach hurt and my head ache.
i really need to try to let it go. 
this is not how i want to live my life.
i want to do what i need to do for myself and
forget the rest.
i can feel my blood boil though when the
thought of spending christmas with
them goes though my mind.
all is fine and dandy when it's a party.
i would be so happy to have xmas eve
at my dads place.  but none of them would
want to do that.  they have to cook their food
and drink their booze.  all much more important
to them......i just dont get it.. i'm so freakin' pissed
off about it..
i need to let it go.. i try...i work on it.. it doesn't work...

i miss my daddy