how do i carry on?
somedays i wonder.
is it because i deal with it?
is it my genetic make-up?
i don't understand.
i feel as though i am
dealing with this situation
on a daily basis.
therefore making it more
"real"
to me.?
if you sweep it under a
 rug, it goes away.
i must carry on.
my dad would be so
angry to know the pain
he is causing this family.
he loved his family.
he loved being with his family
he misses his family.
wish they could see that.
i don't believe they ever will.
or i don't believe they will ever be able to deal.
sweep, sweep, sweep.

i miss my daddy