well, vacation is over.
i'm back to reality.
it was a wonderful break
that was needed really bad.
so bad in fact that i did
not even realize it until
i was gone. it was then
that i sighed a bit of relief.
i certainly never forgot
about what is going on
but it sure was nice to
escape from for awhile.
i came back sick and so
i couldn't go see papa
until Sunday, which was Easter.
i brought him home with me.
it was great.
we had a lovely day.
when leah and i picked him
up he was thrilled to see us.
he loves us so much.
i'm glad that it shows through
other ways besides verbal.
i continue to have many
frustrating emotions on 
a daily basis. i've
decided recently that
the one i'm feeling the
most lately is
DISAPPOINTMENT......
this is a horrible feeling.
almost worse than sad, mad,
angry...
the battle continues with
these many feelings.
i will continue to do what
i need to do for myself.
doesn't take away the feeling
of
disappointment i feel towards
others....
their loss...

i miss my daddy