Wake me up, when September ends.

Not that there is anything terribly wrong with
September, it just has brought on a world
of changes in my life.
As I have matured, I have learned to grasp
change and run with it and accept it and
move on from it and to eventually love it.
But it takes me awhile.
I am a creature of habit.
It took me about two years to adjust to
being in our new home.  I wanted to go "home"
however, I was already there!
I learning as I go and trying hard to do a good job.
But dropping my youngest off at college has
been a change in my life like none other.
I never tried to let my kids define me or revolve
MY life around them.  I worked hard at having
my own life seperate from them and I thought
I did a pretty good job of it.
Now that I don't have kids at home, I'm starting
to wonder!  It is a quiet and lonely and even somewhat
sad environment.  I worked hard at raising those kids and
we had struggles like you wouldn't believe.
But we prevailed and they are happy and I am happy!
I should be so proud and happy for them, AND I AM!
But I still am somewhat sad and feeling the need
to have a pity party for myself.......
I should be very proud of myself for rising above and
defying all odds. Kids of divorced parents.....
kids of a deadbeat dad......kids raised by a single mom...
kids raised by a parent with only one income.......
YES, I am proud.
Proud of them
Pround of ME!
WE DID IT!
I have two very happy and grounded kids who are both
in college.
Well on their way to becoming something amazing.
I just need to be happy about it and stop feeling sorry
for myself.  This is not about me.  This is about them.
This is about their future and me acomplishing the goal
I set for myself.  Raising two super amazing kids.
I wish my dad knew how great they were doing......

i miss my daddy